


The National Drinking Game

by orphan_account



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Comedy, Crack Treated Seriously, Drinking, Drinking Games, Drunkenness, Rivalry, Scheming, jumprope, mr and mrs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2019-11-19
Packaged: 2021-02-08 13:01:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21476422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Some of the fiercest countries have been thrown into a suspicious Drinking Game hosted by none other than Prussia. Allies turn to Rivals and vice-versa. What else could possibly go wrong?
Relationships: no relationships yet - Relationship, some may be implied or added later on
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> hello hello! i deeply apologize if any of the early dialogue or description seems to be awkward, the current time that i am writing this note is 3 in the morning exactly. i started writing around 1. this is also my first time writing most of these characters, so i’m trying my best! please enjoy!  
(this is also the first multiple chapter fanfiction i’ve written, so wish me luck)

The day had started out per usual for everyone, besides the fact a mysterious world meeting was called to attention by an unknown country. There was no harm in it all, so all 10 invited showed up. Much to their dismay...

Upon their arrival, (and upon the dawning that the caller of this meeting /still/ hadn’t shown up) everyone felt drowsier than usual. It was too much to take.

So they let the tiredness envelope them, which was their first mistake.

—

“Up! Up I say, you fools!” Someone’s voice, not one of the countries from the mysterious world meeting.

“Dude!” Someone else cried out, they had apparently already been awake and were on the defensive. “It was you?! **Was** it you? Cause if it was you who kidnapped us, that’s totally not cool!”

“Settle down! I think the most rational thing to do would be to not get your bloody attacks ready to go and listen!” Another cried.

Soon, everyone calmed, fully realizing their situation, as well as the person behind it. Prussia, or, Gilbert Bielschmidt sat atop a podium in the large room, holding a microphone with a couple of large rock-concert esque speakers surrounding him and a screen behind him.

There were 5 countries at each table, both across the room from each other. In front of them was a simple cup. The overall energy of the room was a bit... much.

Suddenly, confetti rained down from the ceiling as Gilbert began to speak. “Welcome, welcome to my game! As you can tell, it is I, the great Prussia!” 

One of the others, Canada, was about to speak when he was plainly and crudely talked over by the leader of this “game.” “No time for interruptions, your questions can wait! Please read these rules up on the screen behind me, and if you struggle on any big words let me know!” Gilbert cackled, pressing a button on a remote he had to start his bright and tacky looking PowerPoint presentation.

—

**RULES:  
This is a drinking game. The objective is to score as many points as possible without getting too drunk or passing out. Each team’s members points will be combined at the end, but overall, the country with the most points comes out on top.**

**Speaking of teams, 10 participants are split into groups of 5, the Black Team and the Red Team. Points can be passed and traded among team members as you please. A team captain will be preferably selected, as well as a co-captain.**

**POINT SCORING:**  
**Points are awarded in two situations:**  
**-If someone from the opposing team passes out**  
**-If someone from your team wins a minigame**

**If someone from your opposing team passes out, each member from your team would earn 2 points each. If someone from your team wins a minigame, the winner earns 4 points while the rest of the teammates earn 2. As stated, points may be traded and passed on once per team each round.**

***If solely one person remains at the end, all points from all other participants will be transferred to them.**

**TEAMS:**  
**Black Team:**  
**Ivan Braginsky (Russia) - 0**  
**Alfred F. Jones (America) - 0**  
**Francis Bonnefoy (France) - 0**  
**Kiku Honda (Japan) - 0**  
**Lovino Vargas (Romano/South Italy) - 0**

**Red Team:**  
**Ludwig Beilschmidt (Germany) - 0**  
**Feliciano Vargas (North Italy) - 0**  
**Arthur Kirkland (England) - 0**  
**Matthew Williams (Canada) - 0**  
**Yao Wang (China) - 0**

—

Everyone seemed stunned, and more or less shocked at the roster of teammates. Each country eyed each other suspiciously. Allies had turned to enemies and vice versa, and most of these issues were on the side of the Black Team.

“No way!” Alfred protested, motioning to the Russian beside him. “Why put me with this commie bastard?! Couldn’t you have just put me with my bro Canada? So not cool!”

“Do not worry friend!” Ivan tried to calm the man next to him down. “We work together as a team, da? Differences set aside for now!” Alfred simply rolled his eyes.

“You heard the masochist. You get what you get and you don’t get upset, didn’t you learn that as a kid?” Gilbert remarked. “Anymore questions?”

Yao raised his hand impatiently, to which he was soon called on. “Yes, um... why? Is your goal simply to make us suffer or something? If anything, I expected better from you!”

“Woah, woah, getting right on my case. Firstly, there’s a reason. Secondly, I chose the countries who’d probably provide some entertainment intoxicated. So, yeah. No need for the guilt tripping.”

“Alright, alright, listen up! Since you won’t tell us your reason, I’ll have to pry you for it, dammit! What is it, tell us?” Lovino inquired, leaning back in his chair. 

“Simple! Don’t you all want to know who the most powerful country is? Well then, I gathered you all here to find out. Whoever wins, or whatever team wins, is the stronger country! So there.”

Ludwig rolled his eyes. He hadn’t expected his brother to stupe to these levels, nevermind drag some of the most incompetent countried he had ever laid eyes on in. “I just can’t believe it. If we really wanted to find out who would come out victorious, we would go to war.” Next to him, Arthur nodded his head.

Kiku shook his head. “I suppose we have no choice but to participate... though I suggest we stay wary of each other. We do not know if there is a catch to these drinks.”

Gilbert grinned. “I’ll let you folks chitter chatter about team captains and strategies! And so, let the negotiations begin!”

—  
**NEGOTIATIONS: BLACK TEAM**  
—

Alfred was first to talk. “Personally, I think our best bet for captain is me, yours truly! Since you know, I’m the hero that you guys all need. And, I’m obviously the strongest, so if you follow my lead our team will win.”

“Nonsense, I politely disagree! If you settle on me, then we can come out victorious and look good doing it, _mon amis._” Francis stated, smacking his palms onto the table.

“Personally, I am in favor of Comrade Lovino as our leader, da?” Ivan suggested, holding a hand up. Lovino smiled and nodded, Alfred already looking fuming.

“...What if we held a vote? The top two votes will become captain and co-captain,” Kiku suggested calmly. Surely that would be a good way to settle things.

And so, the Black Team’s majority vote was held. Ivan, Lovino, and Francis all voted for Lovino himself, and Kiku and Alfred voted for Alfred.

The captain would be South Italy, and the co-captain would be America.

The group had also decided to stay wary; they had the lower hand compared to the Red Team, the only weak spots being Matthew and most importantly, Feliciano. Alfred and Lovino had informed the others that their targets could not hold their alcohol reasonably well, so they would aim for them first.

—  
**NEGOTIATIONS: RED TEAM**  
—

“We won’t waste any time on meaningless blather, I’ll be your leader.” Arthur stated, eyes scanning the rest of the team.

“Oh, _please,_ if you really want to lose to them so badly you could have just said so.” Ludwig said, motioning to the table on the opposite side of the room, focusing on their own negotiations.

“Personally,” Yao began, “I’m in favor of Germany. Despite being from opposite sides, myself being apart of the allies and Mr. Ludwig being from Axis, he seems to be a decent leader. Arthur, while I don’t mean to offend, you seem as though you would get swallowed up in yourself. We need someone who can not only look out for themselves but the rest of the team,  
too.”

Arther simply crossed his arms in defiance.

“I agree with Yao.” Matthew plainly stated. “Mr. Bielschmidt would probably be our best bet if we want to win this... maybe you could be our co-captain if you don’t mind?”

“Yes, yes, I agree! Mr. Germany is such a good leader! He’s going to lead us to winning this no matter what!” Feliciano agreed cheerfully, and with that, Ludwig was the Red Team’s captain and Arthur was their co-captain. They decided the weak spot on the opposing team would be Kiku, since the rest could unfortunately handle their alcohol very well. It surely would not be an easy task.

—  
**END OF PROLOGUE**


	2. Jumping for Joy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first minigame begins, and one team already starts out victorious and all too proud... the tensions between the two teams are rising higher and higher by the minute.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look at me, finally posting at a normal time of day! this book is finally starting to fully kick off... i’m excited

After everyone had settled, Gilbert played some annoying upbeat tune over the loudspeaker and grinned, preparing to announce the first minigame.

“Starting off rather simple, our first event’s gonna be Jumprope! You’re gonna select one person from each team, and the two are gonna face off in a battle of true jumpiness! Loser has to drink... um, this.” Gilbert held up a bottle of Tapatio Excelencia Extra Añejo, a type of tequila. “This stuff’s expensive, so don’t put me to shame.”

The black team quickly turned to each other, looking for someone to either step up or to nominate some unfortunate soul. “Um, I can.” Kiku suggested, raising his hand. “My smaller size probably will make me quicker, so I can avoid the rope easier and win.”

“You sure?” Alfred asked, raising a brow. “If you lose that shit’ll drown you out real quick. We can’t afford to lose someone this quick, dude.”

“I assure you, everything will be fine. I may not be... extremely confident, but I can do it.” The japanese representative responded.

“Good luck.” Francis wished, and Lovino and Ivan nodded along with him.

Meanwhile at the Red Table, things were not going so smooth.

“Listen! I think they chose, um, Lovino?? I don’t know, bloody hell!” Arthur ran his hands through his hair.

“No, they definitely chose Alfred. If it’s my brother, then I would definitely beat him. I should go!” Matthew countered, sneaking glances at the Black table, who had seemingly already made a decision by now.

Yao and Feliciano were playing Rock Paper Scissors to decide who was going to go. Ludwig shook his head in amusement.

“Um, Feliciano is going. His size will probably be beneficial, you know. He just needs to not lose.”

And so it was decided. Kiku would play for the Black Team and Feliciano would play for the Red Team.

—

And so, the two smaller men stood in the empty space between the two tables. Each had a jumprope made of white and blue twine rope, and were currently preparing themselves.

“Go, Kiku, go!” Alfred cheered.

“Alrightio. Once I say go, you start jumping and I start counting. Get ready... get steady... go, go, go!”

Immediately the two started swinging their ropes, Gilbert counting in the background. Kiku breathed in sharply through his mouth, hissing. He managed to stay light on his feet, despite not going out much. He cursed the time he spent indoors instead of practicing jumproping skills.

Feliciano bounced, his feet feeling heavier than Kiku’s. He surely was more clumsy than the other across from him, but the italian had promised he would win. He decided it would be easier to stay on one foot, as he had more of a chance to not fall if he alternated between his two feet.

They had been going on for a while, the two occasionally glancing at each other. Tensions were as high as the sky, both parties on the edge of their seats. The room was silent besides the hitting noise of the rope against the floor.

Gilbert was counting in his 40’s now, 47 to be exact, when Feliciano stumbled on the rope and caught his ankles in it while alternating jumping feet. He got too tangled and fell flat on his face.

Kiku stopped jumping with a sharp inhale, a small smile spreading on his face. “Ooooo!” Gilbert spoke loudly into the mic, feedback hurting the countries ears. “Jeez, I was starting to get bored. Anyways, we have a winner! Congratulations Black Team and Kiku Hondaaaaa!” 

The Black Team rejoiced, high fiving each other and cheering. They wouldn’t be drinking yet. The Red Team, however, scowled, obviously disappointed.

Gilbert filled Feliciano’s glass as full as possible with the expensive tequila, and the latter hesitantly drank up. It burned his throat, he obviously wouldn’t be having a very good time. 

“Goddamnit, why couldn’t you have just kept up the pace a little bit! More, and you’re done for!” Arthur scolded.

“Oh, don’t worry about him.” Matthew soothed, placing a hand on Feliciano’s shoulder. “We just really don’t wanna lose. You’re just fine, we have more time  
for beating them back. Once my brother gets selected, I’ll face him off and win for sure, eh?” Matthew pulled away, a soft smile on his face. “Yes indeed.” Yao grinned at Feliciano. “No need to despair.”

Ludwig and Arthur didn’t seem to agree, looking away angrily. They were going to win this game if it was the last thing they did.

— 

Meanwhile at the Black Table, celebrations were happening.

As Kiku came back to the table, the other members (obviously more carefree than their rivals) started cheering and clapping.

Eventually Alfred started a chant of Kiku’s name, Kiku himself shying away. As the group hooted and hollered, Ivan lifted the japanese man into the air.

This was obviously an attempt to rile up the Red Team... and it was working. Two certain members of said team looked on with disgust.

—

**Black Team:**  
**Ivan Braginsky (Russia) - 2**  
**Alfred F. Jones (America) - 2**  
**Francis Bonnefoy (France) - 2**  
**Kiku Honda (Japan) - 4**  
**Lovino Vargas (Romano/South Italy) - 2**

**Red Team:**  
**Ludwig Beilschmidt (Germany) - 0**  
**Feliciano Vargas (North Italy) - 0**  
**Arthur Kirkland (England) - 0**  
**Matthew Williams (Canada) - 0**  
**Yao Wang (China) - 0**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> perhaps i’ll have another chapter up today since i’m posting so early?  
stay tuned for next chapter: ludwig and arthur are done with the bs already


	3. The Target’s on You! (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next minigame begins, and rivalries form. Two certain Red Team members have it out for blood for a Black Team member...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i said i was gonna post yesterday but i passed out.  
this is an interesting chapter, more so than the last, so hopefully you all like it! i did my research this time.

Soon it would be time for then next event.

Prussia gave them a break, allowing the teams to talk one on one... while the Black Team was taking it easy in light of their victory, two of the Red Team’s members had other plans.

While Yao, Matthew, and Feliciano talked idly, Ludwig and Arthur conspired together, still upset over their loss to the Black Team. Truly sore losers.

“But we haven’t seen enough of their plays to truly get a hold on who’s most powerful.” Arthur said, scanning the others carefully for eavesdropping.

“Which is why we should waste no time taking them out. Even if we don’t know who will benefit their team more, we need to focus on making sure none of them will ever get to show off their skills,” Ludwig began. “In short, we need to start heightening the Black Team’s weaknesses as soon as possible.”

“Do you have any ideas?” The other asked, stroking his chin absentmindedly.

“Yes. I suggest we target Alfred.”

—

Break was over, and Gilbert found it appropriate to announce the next game.

“It’s time foooor... Mr. and Mrs.! Hopefully you’re ready to find out some unwanted information about your buddies!”

Alfred groaned. “I’ll have you know that Ivan is n-“

Speaking of Ivan, he quickly covered the american’s mouth. “Too bad magic metal pipe of pain is not with us...” This only made Alfred scream louder, muffled by the scarfed man’s hand.

“Anyways, ignoring whatever that is, this game is quite simple!” Gilbert began, tapping the microphone. “Each team selects one player to go up. The pairs sit back to back holding a glass of my little friend here, and everyone takes turns asking questions, like, ‘out of you two which is the messiest’ or something. Go to town. Say I’m up, and I think it’s me, I’d raise my glass. If I think it’s the other person, I’d lower my glass. If the answers match, each person from the pair earns 2 points... if not, then they both gotta drink. Simple?”

The majority hesitantly nodded, but any further action was prevented by Gilbert adding something else.

“And dig this, I didn’t add anything to the drinks this time.”

“Wha— _this time?!_ You bastard!” Lovino immediately stood up, thrusting his index finger in the host’s direction.

“He’s right! You’re... no good!” A drunken Feliciano cried, sticking out his tongue. Matthew pat his back.

“Relax, relax, Mario Bros. You won’t have to worry your pretty little heads off about this, got it? And thus, begin!”

—

Ludwig eyed the Black Table suspiciously. “It doesn’t matter who they pick yet, I inquire. They are all sober. As your captain, I command that we pick anyone but Feliciano. He’s already had an entire glass of spanish tequila and hasn’t been taking it well.”

“Yes yes, and as your co-captain, I second Ludwig’s proposal!” Arthur exclaimed, sitting next to the German with a pleased look on his face.

Yao sighed. With these two, it would be a long, long game. He had to back them up anyways. The Chinese representative had already put his (little) faith into Matthew, they needed to keep him safe as long as they could or it would practically be all over for them. He either offer himself up, or...

“I agree. Which is why I suggest we hold back Matthew for later and send out you, Arthur.” He said.

“W-wha? Me, no, nonsense. You go.”

“For a second in command, you have no self. I am starting to understand why Mr. Alfred chose to separate himself from you during the American Revolution. So please.”

Arthur huffed, Yao’s insult deeply hurt his pride. He would play the first round to show him...

“Fine. I’ll go. But don’t get mad when we lose because of this!” And off the englishman marched.

—

“Here, wait a sec, I’ll go.” Lovino suggested right off the bat. “I’m pretty okay at holding my alcohol, so even if we lose, those damned Reddies won’t see it coming when I’m perfectly fine!”

The others nodded. “Thank you for offering yourself,” Kiku said, “I think we all work well as a team. The Red Team, by the looks of things, has been disagreeing a lot. I am not your leader, but it seems they are at a weakness compared to us. We must try our best to play our hand wisely.”

“Da, I agree! This team will definitely win! I cannot wait to see looks on their faces, so we must win!” Ivan said, broken english heightening in his excitement.

“_Oui,_ our team is far more superior. Losing is futile for them!” Francis grinned, playing with his hair.

“Hell yes! We’re gonna beat their asses so hard, they won’t even see it coming!”

Lovino grinned at Alfred’s enthusiasm and headed out, smile faltering to a grin seeing his opponent would be Arthur.

— **MR AND MRS BEGIN!** —

Lovino and Arthur sat back to back, mystery drink in their hand. The others had decided they would start with Ivan, and then go counter clockwise, heading to the Red Team table.

Speaking of Ivan, he was enthusiastically deciding on something to ask. “Hmm... what to ask... Ah! I got it! Which of you is prettiest?” This was obviously an attempt to keep everyone from drinking, considering both parties’ egos were through the roof already. Or perhaps it was an attempt to sabotage everyone but himself gone wrong..? No matter which, nobody was pleased, Matthew shaking his head in disappointment.

However, both Arthur and Lovino raised their glasses. Gilbert grinned. “That’s a win, ladies! Nobody drinks!” Both smiled triumphantly as they marched back to their separate worlds.

—

Arthur had so fondly insisted that Yao was sent off this time, so off he went. After all, it was only fair this time.

Ivan had also offered himself, no harm would be done if a drink was taken already.

And so the two sat back to back, drinks in hands.

Arthur smiled devilishly to himself. His plan had worked, and despite being safe and earning points, he was still holding a grudge with Yao at even slightly insulting his co-captain. And so, it was his turn to ask...

“Good heavens, this is hard...” He spoke, the smirk almost showing in his voice. “Who, out of both of you, is taller?”

Yao knew as a fact that Ivan was taller. Hell, the guy towered over him. And so, he lowered his glass, not even realizing he walked straight into Arthur’s trap and sealed his fate. 

Ivan also knew he was taller, it was a kind of dumb question to ask... wasn’t this supposed to be difficult? Ivan raised his glass.

“Ahah! And we have our first drinkers! Bottoms up!” Gilbert cheered, sending confetti down from the ceiling.

“Damn you—!” Yao glared daggers at Arthur, standing up. “It was a ruse! And I walked right into it!”

Ivan didn’t seem to be too bothered as he drank the liquid up, but his expression quickly changed to that of confusion. “_Святой ад!_ I never had this before, it stings!” He couldn’t do much about the stinging, so he sat back down.

It did, however, give Yao a heads up, and the man held his nose while drinking. He shook his head once he had finished, disgusted. “Thanks a lot...” He made his way back to the table.

—

For the next round, Francis and Ludwig were sent out, with Alfred asking the question.

“Who here has eaten over 20 chicken nuggets in one day?”

Both lowered their glasses.

“Alfred, little brother, brother dearest. Please be more mature, you’re embarrassing me...” Matthew was disappointed that Alfred had even bothered to ask that question.

Both Ludwig and Francis had seen too much already to care. “Hon hon, nice job, _mon rival._ Quite honestly. I was looking forward to drinking this round.” Francis chuckled.

Ludwig merely rolled his eyes.

—

And for the next round, Alfred and Matthew were sitting, while Feliciano asked the question. Both knew this wouldn’t be pretty.

“Who here...” The italian stopped to hiccup. “Who here last wielded a weapon?” 

Matthew lowered his glass while Alfred raised his. “I didn’t kill nobody, dudes. No need to get suspicious or anything! I just go to shooting ranges occasionally.”

Matthew looked at his brother, nodding. “I was there with him last time, so I can vouch for that. Al, truth has consequences.” And with that, he took his drink. 

Alfred took his, but didn’t mind much. He shared Arthur’s lack of taste, and while the stinging was there, it didn’t affect him much.

Matthew, however, stuck out his tongue and recoiled.

Truth had consequences indeed. 

—

**Black Team:**   
**Ivan Braginsky (Russia) - 2**   
**Alfred F. Jones (America) - 2**   
**Francis Bonnefoy (France) - 4**   
**Kiku Honda (Japan) - 4**   
**Lovino Vargas (Romano/South Italy) - 4**

**Red Team:**   
**Ludwig Beilschmidt (Germany) - 2**   
**Feliciano Vargas (North Italy) - 0**   
**Arthur Kirkland (England) - 2**   
**Matthew Williams (Canada) - 0**   
**Yao Wang (China) - 0**

—

**TO BE CONTINUED NEXT CHAPTER...**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ehehe, next chapter someone will be eliminated finally. can you guess who it’ll be?  
also, i kind of forgot about francis until i had to write his turn to participate, so if his first line of dialogue seems kind of out of place, that’s why

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! i’m super excited for this, so please give me as much feedback as you’d like! i plan on updating this whenever i can, so check back frequently for updates!


End file.
